She Always Saved Him
by ProfTweety
Summary: BAMDAMMMsters Prompt #9, Bring Me to Life by Evanescence: For all the darkness and despair in his life right then, for the all the pain and sadness he was feeling, there was a twinge of guilt as he thought of the woman who saved his ass more times than he could remember but knew she recalled them all.


_**She Always Saved Him**_

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing related to _Major Crimes_ ; James Duff, et al, has that lovely distinction.

 **A/N:** _BAMDAMMMsters_ Prompt #9, _Bring_ _Me_ _to_ _Life_ by Evanescence: For all the darkness and despair in his life right then, for the all the pain and sadness he was feeling, there was a twinge of guilt as he thought of the woman who saved his ass more times than he could remember but knew _she_ recalled them all. _Enjoy_! Leave a _**review**_ if y'all's feel so inclined; they are ever so lovely to read. **#TodayIsLife**

~~~~~PT~~~~~

/Wake me up/Wake me up inside/I can't wake up/Wake me up inside/Save me/Call my name and save me from the dark/Wake me up/Bid my blood to run/I can't wake up/Before I come undone/Save me/Save me from the nothing I've become/

Jack could always find a safe place with Sharon. Could always count on her to _save_ him: money problems, various addictions, or a place to stay; she had always gone out of her way to help him, to save him yet again.

He'd always taken advantage of it, of _her_ , while taking her _love_ for him for granted. The idea that she'd one day put an end to it never crossed his mind. They were married! Sharon wouldn't divorce him. He was Jack, her _husband_. They had spent at least two and one-half decades legally separated; she'd not once actually given him divorce papers to sign. Then, out of nowhere, came that fateful day in her office when she gave him a choice. He'd been _so_ sure she was bluffing! Leaving her office that day, he felt confident nothing would come of those divorce papers she'd offered him so calmly; offered them to him with so much assurance it rattled his nerves. But then he was actually served! For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what was going on in her head. She _served_ him!

He thought by not fighting her, he wouldn't have to pay her any of the money he owed from all the years of not paying child support. He didn't contest her divorce and she didn't really push for the money. He'd been right yet again. Only she'd _divorced_ him! He had the final decree and for the first time in over thirty years, he saw her name _Sharon_ _O'Dwyer_ _Raydor_. He'd forgotten her maiden name at some point over the years because she was Mrs Sharon Raydor; that's _who_ she was.

/All this time I can't believe I couldn't see/Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me/Don't let me die here/There must be something more/Bring me to life/

There were so many nights she'd picked him up from bars. Too many times she'd heard the rumors of him cheating; he'd never found out for sure if she'd truly known or just suspected. All those times he'd come back into her life, into their _kids'_ lives, and he'd told her things would be different but then he'd leave her, _them_ , again.

/Frozen inside without your touch/Without your love, darling/Only you are the life among the dead/

How many times had she cleaned and bandaged his wounds? There were too many to remember. He'd sometimes get into fights when he was drunk or more likely he'd trip over something and fall; his face usually showed the proof for days. There were the two times he'd been rolled when he was too drunk to know what the women were really planning for him. He'd gone home, tail between his legs, not reporting the incidents, and Sharon would fix him right up and take him to bed. He'd never told her he was looking to pick up the women; he'd said both times he was mugged because he was drunk and his _wife_ wouldn't pick him up.

Any time he was hurt, he always knew he could go back to his wife and she'd make him feel better, put him back together. Sharon had her ways: cleansing his wounds, worrying about him, telling him he'd be all right, kissing him, and taking him to her bed, not just to sleep. She knew _all_ the ways to make him feel better.

Well _who_ was gonna make him feel him feel better _now_? he wondered as he held onto the final divorce decree for what must've been the hundredth time since he'd received it.

Letting himself into her place that one time had obviously been a mistake since they weren't married anymore. Recently he'd found out she was dating his former drinking buddy. That explained the sudden animosity Andy felt towards him the past two years. He should've known!

Now here he sat in his little apartment that was nowhere near as nice as he thought Sharon's condo was, thinking about all the things she'd never do for him again. If he thought he needed a drink before he sat down to read those papers again, he sure as hell needed one after. Getting up, he grabbed his briefcase and headed off to the one place he knew would help him.

/Now that I know what I'm without/You can't just leave me/Breathe into me and make me real/Bring me to life/

As he sat there going over their lives together and separately, he realized something. He'd made a huge mistake and there was no fixing it. He couldn't just put his _marriage_ back together with a band-aid. He couldn't use a pack of gauze to put her _heart_ back to the way it was before he'd broken it time and time again. He couldn't use concealer to erase the _sadness_ he saw when she truly looked at him; when she remembered the man she once loved. There was no ace bandage big enough to wrap _her_ in and protect her from _his_ kind of love.

He'd lost her and now there was no one to save him but himself and _he_ wasn't very good at that. He'd always left it to her, so sure was he that she'd never divorce him; that she'd never find someone new to love.

Sitting there with the drink in his hand, the drink he'd promised Sharon and their kids he'd never touch again, he thought of her with Andy and it hurt him worse than losing her had. In the depths of his despair, he'd always been able to go home and be with his wife and she'd fix everything. Now Andy got the best of her, got her love, and from the shadows of his mind came Emily's words. " _You_ _lost_ _her_ , _Dad_ , _a long time ago_. _You_ _lost her_. _Let_ _her be happy now_."

Selfishly he didn't want her to be happy with Andy because it meant there was no chance for him and he needed her to always be there to save him. When he'd shown up drunk that night and let himself in, she was angry, threw a pillow at him, told him to get up and get out, but in the end she had let him sleep it off on her couch like she always did. Only that time, _Rusty_ was the one who actually let him stay and took his key in the morning. It hadn't been Sharon.

When she didn't take the money he wanted to give her, it had been Ricky and Emily who told him to put it away for her and let it earn interest since it wasn't the entire amount he owed her. Rusty's words came back to him too. " _You_ _had it all, Jack, you had the jackpot and you walked_ _away_."

When the hell did kids start acting more mature than adults? " _When you let them see what you did to their mother, how much you kept hurting her_ ," had been Andy's response to that question when he'd mumbled it passing him one day.

Putting the drink down without taking a sip, he left the bar, his final divorce papers back in the briefcase where they belonged. Walking down the alley to his car, he saw a young woman smiling at him. " _I'm not_ _drunk so wait for the next guy_ ," he advised her with a wave of his hand. Getting in his car, he saw a guy who looked like he'd be one of his clients soon enough.

Shaking his head, he thought of going home to an empty apartment, with no Sharon to fix him up and put him back together, to _save_ him, as she had done all those years. It wasn't fair that Andy Flynn got what _he_ deserved, what had been his all those years. Ricky's words jumped out at him this time. " _It_ _wasn't fair what you did to Mom or to us when we were growing up. She had to call you to remind you about our birthdays_. _How disappointing is that?_ "

For all the darkness and despair in his life right then, for the all the pain and sadness he was feeling, there was a twinge of guilt as he thought of the woman who saved his ass more times than he could remember but knew _she_ recalled them all.

Sometimes the person who saved you needs saving. Only he didn't get his act together to be her savior. No, he got to sit back and watch _Andy_ be good to her; watch Andy be the kind of guy to her that Emily and Ricky, and later Rusty, wanted _him_ to be.

Maybe he was beyond saving, maybe he wasn't, but the least he could do was leave her alone. Only he knew he couldn't do that. _Because_ _she_ _always_ _saved_ _him_.

/Bring me to life/I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside/Bring me to life/

[The End]


End file.
